Hope for the Brokenhearted:

Biblical Solutions for Survivors of Abuse and Rape

by Todd R. Cook

Other resources for survivors of abuse by Todd R. Cook may be seen at www.hopebooks.info

 

   A paperback copy of this book may be ordered from www.amazon.com. The retail price is $13.99. The book may also be ordered by sending a check for $11.99 (which includes shipping) to Todd R. Cook at the following address. Todd R. Cook, 4822 18th Ave., Kenosha, WI 53140.

 

Digital copy in PDF format can be bought for $2.99 from https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/28309 . This book is now available at e-book stores for various digital readers and apps.

 

An audio version of the book can be obtained from http://podiobooks.com/title/hope-for-the-brokenhearted-biblical-solutions-for-survivors-of-abuse-and-rape/ or from https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-for-brokenhearted-biblical/id610999408?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 .

 

Continue down to preview the table of contents and first chapter.

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

1 THERE IS HOPE

               Effects of Abuse in Adults

 

2 ABUSE IS SIN

               Verbal Abuse

               Physical Abuse

               Sexual Abuse

               Responsibility for Abuse

 

3 WHY THERE IS SUFFERING

               Reason for Suffering

               God’s Justice

               Why Christians Suffer

               Benefits of Suffering

               A Choice to Make

 

4 DEVELOPMENT OF THE EFFECTS OF ABUSE

               Physical Effects

               Thinking Effects

               Emotional Effects

               Behavioral Effects

 

5 BIBLICAL SELF-CONCEPT

               Pride

               Low Self-view

               Inward Focus

               Biblical Self-concept

               Stopping Self Abuse

 

6 GOD’S LOVE

 

7 FORGIVENESS

               Bitterness

               Guilt

               God Forgives Us

               We forgive Others

               We Forgive Ourselves

 

8 RENEWING THE MIND

                Triggers for Memories

               Flashbacks

               How to Handle Memories

               Controlling Your Mind

               What to Do for Nightmares

               Resolving Issues in the Mind

               How One Woman Dealt with Rape

               Solving Problems

  

 

9 GRIEVING

               Emotions in Grieving

               Stages in Grieving

 

10 STRESS

               Post Traumatic Stress

               Cause of Stress

               Stress Assessment

               Stress Reduction

 

11 POWER TO CHANGE

 

12 EMOTIONS

               Feelings

               Depression

               Anger

               Contentment

               Joy and Gladness

               Mixed Emotions

               Easing Emotional Pain

               Managing Emotions

 

13 FEARS AND TRUST

               Security

               Fears

               Trusting God

               Giving God Control

               Worries

               What You Can Do

 

14 PURPOSE IN LIFE

 

15 RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

               Love

               Friendship

               Companionship

               Loneliness

 

16 DEALING WITH ABUSIVE PEOPLE

               Dealing with Your Abuser

               Dealing with Family

               Principles for Dealing with the Abuser

               If You Are Currently Being Abused

               Tips to Keep You Safe

               Dealing with Rejection

 

17 FAMILY DESIGN

                Marriage

               Parenting

               Gifts from God

               Sex

               Who You Should Marry 

 

18 CHRISTIAN LIFE

               Salvation

               Assurance of Salvation

               Christian Living

               Temptations

               Results of Trials

 

APPENDIX - A PHILOSOPHY OF MEDICATION

 

TOPICAL SCRIPTURE INDEX

 

 

Chapter 1

THERE IS HOPE

 

                         There is hope for the survivors of abuse. That hope is in the person of Jesus Christ according to 1 Timothy 1:1. According to Hebrews 12:2, Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. This means that because He was involved in the creation of life, He knows the best way to live it. He has given us the Bible as His instructions on how to live life (2 Tim. 3:16, 17). This book will explain to you how Jesus and His book, the Bible, can help heal your hurts.

 

            The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord (Luke 4:18-19).

 

These words were spoken by Jesus, the One who came for the less fortunate. Notice especially that Jesus was sent to heal that brokenhearted. There are very few people that are more brokenhearted than those ravished by abuse. Jesus came especially to heal that broken heart, your broken heart. He also came to preach deliverance to the captives. You may have been held physically captive. You may also feel captive to your emotions of shame, helplessness, guilt and worthlessness. He can deliver you from these feelings. He also was sent to set at liberty those who are bruised. The word bruised here has the idea of crushed. Jesus has come to set free those who have been crushed emotionally by their abuser. Yes, Jesus has come especially for your situation.

 

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all (Isaiah 53:4-6).

 

This passage is a prophecy of what Christ would do on the cross when he came to earth the first time. Jesus came to take care of our physical, emotional and spiritual needs. We experience many of the benefits of Christ’s first coming here on earth but the complete healing will come when we get to heaven. One of the beautiful truths of this passage is that He bore our sins so that we do not have to.

 

And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses; Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross (Colossians 2:13-14).

 

Jesus also forgives. Notice that it says, “having forgiven you all trespasses.” When we trust Jesus as our Savior, He forgives all our sins. This means that God sees us as without guilt and sin.

God loves you. He loves you even as a sinner. You do not have to clean up your life for God to love you (Romans 5:8). God does not see you as unlovable. God loves you because it is His nature to do so. He loves you regardless of what you have done or what has been done to you. That love also brings you salvation. Romans 5:8 says, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That means He died in your place, He took the penalty you deserved. This substitution or salvation is applied to your life through faith.

 

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast (Eph. 2:8-9).

 

   Salvation is a free gift. It is not something that we earn through good works. We do not receive it from being someone special in our own eyes. God just gives it to whomever has faith to receive it. It can be yours right now through faith. You can express your faith right now in prayer by asking God to forgive you. There are no magic words you must say. Just ask God in your own words to save you and give you eternal life. You can ask Him to save you at any time, anywhere and He will do it.

   God offers strength to those who have received him. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” He can and will give you the strength to get through each day.

   God’s Word can have a powerful effect on our lives as well.

 

            My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word (Ps. 119:28).

            This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me (Ps. 119:50).

            Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them (Ps. 119:165).

 

   Psalm 119:28, 50, 165, tell us that God’s Word can give us strength, comfort, life, and peace. In John 8:31, 32 Jesus says that His truth will make you free. John 17:17 says that God’s Word has a sanctifying effect which means that it helps separate us from sin to God.

   The Word of God has authority. The survivor of abuse may have developed values and beliefs that are not consistent with the Word of God; however, because the Bible carries the authority of God, it can correct the thinking and value system of the survivor.

 

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).

Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost (2 Peter 1:20-21).

 

   Make a goal to read a Psalm every day. This will aid immensely in your healing. If you are not sure of your salvation, read the Gospel of John also. Reading God’s Word is a life-changing experience.

   Prayer will also aid in your healing. Give your burdens and requests to God. Don't take them back.

   Having a desire to heal is very important. With God’s help you are able to heal. Remember, Christ came specifically to heal the brokenhearted; therefore, He must want you to be healed. Do not start thinking that you are not worthy to be healed. God knows you are worthy to be healed. Some barriers to healing are:

 

            - Not believing that God’s Word applies to you.

- Not believing you are worthy to be healed.

- Not believing or practicing biblical principles for living.

- Not understanding that much of your emotional make up is a result of childhood or domestic abuse.

            - Believing there is no hope. God says there is hope.

- Fear that healing will cause a flood of uncontrollable emotion that is too much to bear.

- Unwillingness to change or fear of change.

            - Not drawing close to God.

 

   Statistics say about one in four girls and about one in seven boys are sexually abused before age eighteen. This book focuses on healing from the effects of this abuse. Below is a list of the common effects of abuse on adults. A later chapter will explain how these effects developed. Because these effects were learned or developed, that means that they can be changed. This thought brings hope. Keep in mind that when these effects are developed during childhood, the healing during adulthood takes longer because adults are less impressionable than children and learn at a slower rate. Remember God is in the business of healing and He can work miracles.

 

 

EFFECTS OF ABUSE IN ADULTS

 

PHYSICAL

trauma to genital area

venereal disease

change in sleep patterns

uncontrollable shaking

sexual dysfunction

loss of virginity

scars

change in brain function

 

THINKING

nightmares

poor self-view

not trusting

flashbacks

constant thinking about assault

self-blame

deserves to be punished

self is not worth caring for

self-hate

perfectionism

suicidal thoughts

uncaring

sexual coldness

unforgiving

bitterness

loneliness

poor judgment in relationships

lack of concentration

prejudice

hearing voices

paranoia

daily problems magnified

despair

hopelessness

 

EMOTIONAL

depression

fear of intimacy

feel ashamed

feel betrayed

feel confused

anxiety

phobias

guilt

embarrassed

anger

feel dirty

feel damaged

feel unworthy

feel unlovable

edginess

feel helpless or powerless

emotional numbing

mixed feelings 

panic attacks

insecure

 

BEHAVIORAL

suicidal attempts

cutting or harming self, self-mutilation

eating disorders

alcohol or drug abuse

promiscuousness

smoking

hang with abusive people

not getting close to people

pornography

obsessive - compulsive disorder

criminal behavior

abusing others

prejudice

masturbation

withdrawn, isolation

pacing

hypersensitivity to touch

people pleasing

aggressively control environment

self-destructive behaviors

homosexuality

uncleanliness 


By Pastor Todd R. Cook
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